Tell Us A Good Clean Joke

Tell a joke that's clever and funny but here's the hard part, make it a clean joke...

Here is mine.
A Proton walks into a bar and orders a drink,
The bar tender asks him if he's positive,
Proton says "I'm certainly not negative."

Q. Why don't they have any toilet paper in KFC?
A. Because its finger licking good!

Once upon a time there were two muffins in the microwave. Suddenly, on of the muffins says:
"Man it's hot in here!!!!"
The other muffin exclaims,
"Look a talking muffin!!!!"

A redneck family are visiting a big city for the first time.

The father and son are in the hotel lobby when the spot an elevator.

"What's that Paw?" The boy asked.

"I ain't never did see nothin' like that in my life" Replied the father.

Seconds later an old frail woman walks in the hotel door and hobbles to the elevator. She presses the button with her cain, waits for the doors to open and gets in.

The father and son, still amazed by this contraption, continue to watch.

They hear a ping noise and the doors open again. Out steps a beautiful 20 year old busty blonde.

The father looks at his son and says "Go get your Maw !"

My wife and I have the secret to making a marriage last. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, a little wine, good food... She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays

All my wife does is shop - once she was sick for a week, and three stores went under.

Morris asked his ten-year-old son if he knew about the birds and the bees.

"I don't want to know!" the child said, bursting into tears.

Confused, the father asked his son what was wrong.

"Oh Dad," he sobbed, "at age six I got the 'there's no Santa' speech. At age seven I got the 'there's no Easter Bunny' speech. Then at age 8 you hit me with the 'there's no Tooth Fairy' speech! If you're going to tell me that grown-ups don't really have sex, I've got nothing left to live for!"

What do prisoners use to call each other?
Cell phones.

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite.

Why do bagpipers walk when they play?
They're trying to get away from the noise.

Where do you find a no legged dog?
Right where you left him.

Always forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys them so much!

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.

(Some of my favorite quotes!)

What do gay horses eat?

Heeeeeeyyyyyyyyyy

Huh HaWWWW Dangely Parts.

ooo you
he he thats what she said

nice jokes chojifan

i try